Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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