U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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