You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize