Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
