just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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