Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
