So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
