if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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