there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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