names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
