Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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