Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
