My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
