your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
