So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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