Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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