SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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