belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
