We're like a lot better than the average bears
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
