the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
