Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize