I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
