Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
