Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
