Sry I called you an 8
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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