he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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