Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
