my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
