thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
