Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
