Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize