Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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