She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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