You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
