Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
