Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
