1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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