I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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