i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
