real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
