Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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