new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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