I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this will be a night to untag.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
