My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
