OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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