So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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