just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
