i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
