She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
These tits shall not be calmed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
