possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
