what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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