worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
