They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
