They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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