You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize