now i know why i became what i already was.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
