so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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