He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
