@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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