btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
