For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
