she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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