have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
